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Anonymous, a drug user for 15 years, finally admits he does not need to get high on a daily basis.

"It was just a fake reality" claims Anonymous.

Anonymous understands other drug addicts - he was an addict for 15 years. He's taken every drug known to man - some unknown ones too. Ever had a rock of Tamazipan? No? Anonymous has. It caused him to see the colour blue and not be able to get an erection.

Anonymous started on cannabis at the age of 15 years old. This 'habit' lasted 14 years until he was unable to inhale cannabis any more. That said, for 10 of those 14 years, Anonymous grew cannabis during the years of '98-'08. "Those were some good years" claims Anonymous.

Right now, Anonymous is sitting here, smoking a cigarette, drinking Earl Grey tea, and listening to the Blacker Media link of Courtney Love's - Nobody's Daughter.

For the last year of drug use, Anonymous, smoked crack-cocaine from a crack pipe, snorted cocaine through £20 bills, and smoked heroin off foil. These were the final days of drug addiction before getting clean.

"Heroin is an evil drug" states Anonymous.

"It gets hold of you like no other drug. The first time I smoked heroin, was to come down from crack-cocaine. The high from crack only lasts a few minutes but the comedown is harsh and makes you feel bad for hours. This is why you smoke heroin. To help you come down from crack-cocaine." continues Anonymous.

"The high from Heroin lasts for hours. We're talking 10-12 hours. And it feels better than sex. Better than anything you ever felt before." states Anonymous.

But, eventually, Anonymous got hooked. He used to only use crack-cocaine. But that proved far more expensive than just heroin alone. You see, Anonymous, would spend £100 a night for crack-cocaine. For cocaine alone, we're also talking £100's spent a night. But heroin, because it is so inexpensive, and lasts for hours at a time, Anonymous, would spend roughly £20-£40 daily for his fix.

"I just prefer heroin to crack-cocaine." claims Anonymous.

Luckily, Anonymous, did not inject heroin. His buddy, Lee, would advise Anonymous that injecting heroin is the short road to hell.

Anonymous, would only smoke heroin from the foil. Heroin, is a white/brown powder. The powder is placed on foil, and heated from the underside until it melts and turns to an oil. This oil gives off vapour/smoke which is then inhaled thru a foil tube. A foil tube is used because heroin residue collects inside the tube. After several bags of heroin have been smoked through a single tube, that tube or 'toot' is heavily loaded with heroin residue. The toot is unrolled, and the residue is smoked when there is no more heroin left to smoke.

"The toot is a back up for a dry day." states Anonymous.

Eventually, Anonymous, got in to rehab. His buddy Lee, and Anonymous, started rehab together. Lee took the methadone path. Anonymous took the subutex route. The difference? Methadone users can take heroin on top of methadone and get high whereas subutex clients cannot get high from heroin any more because subutex blocks the heroin receptors in the brain stopping the heroin binding to the receptors and there fore stopping the 'high'.

The REAL difference?

Anonymous got clean whereas his buddy Lee started injecting after several months.

Anonymous did relapse after six months being clean. He was mis-administrating his subutex dose to see if he could reduce it down to 4mg daily. This was a big mistake. After taking only 4mg a day for two days, the subutex started breaking out his system. He fell into severe withdrawal. This led, Anonymous, to use heroin for the first time in six months. Obviously, there was enough subutex in his system, he found, to block the high from the heroin, but it did stop the withdrawal from the subutex.

"It was a big mistake" claims Anonymous.

Anonymous since learned his lesson well. He no longer tries to reduce the dosage. But, he remains weary of when the drug advisors eventually suggest to him to stop using the subutex. He worries he will relapse in to heroin use to starve off the withdrawal from the subutex.

But, that is the future, and Anonymous, is optimystic over the future. Eventually, one day, he will no longer require the subutex and eventually kick the opiate habit. It could take several years before he is ready to get truely clean and off subutex. But, eventually, one day, he will make it through to that other side.

written for Blacker Media